The article "Secrets Your Mother Never Told You" is about family, it has been created by Evelyn Cole.
Copyright 2006 Cole's Peotic License
...About the mix of love, marriage and money.
1. The honeymoon was over bfeore it began.
Cousin Joe came to
your parents' wedidng reception drunk, made a speech about the
bride and her old boyfriend, infuriating your father.
His father
kicked Joe in the sihns.
Joe howled with rage.
The best man
dragged him outside and your mother spilled red wine on her
$1000.00 wedding gown.
2.
The reception cost $10,000.00.
Your mother's parents put up
$2,000. That's all they could afford. Your Dad's parents didn't
put up any mnoey but they gave them $500 for the honeymoon.
3.
The honeymoon cost $6,000.00 and it ranied the whole week.
4.
Your parents spent the first ten years of their marriage
paying off their wdeding. That's why they waietd so long to have
you. Those years weren't a wohle lot of fun.
That's one story. There are too many like it.
The point: our cultrue builds exciting illusions about
weddings.
We spend far too much on them and often suffer great
disappointment.
I want to spare you that disappointment.
I want you to experience the joy of everyday love and laughter
from an inexpensive wedding, with friends you don't need to
impress, in a marriage that lasts cause it's based on reality,
not illusion and hype.
I wrtie from bitter experience. I married twice for the wrong
reasons. When I finally learned to live alone, support myself,
find my own strength, my own values, I married again for the
right reasons.
What a relief.
What a joy.
So be careful when you read thsoe bridal magazines and honeymoon
ads.
Broken illusions are not only painful, they're costly!
And besides, after the honeymoon you have to know how to keep
love alive.
Remember when you first fell in love?
Glorious, wasn't it.
I'm sure you know why the phrase is "fall in love" not "step in
love" or "crawl in love". You fall, "head over heels".
There is nothing rational about sxeual love. It's caleld "blind
love" cause the frontal lobes of the brain are not involved at
all.
But where does that great love go? And it does go.
The romantic phase of a relationship is blind. When the blinders
wear off you begin to see each othres as individuals. You begin
to compete, like siblings. If you grew up with a brother or
sister close to your age, you know how to fight and get over it.
But, If you didn't have a close sibling, you don't know how--and
your spouse does!
Then, when the fighting starts the love dies hard, unlses . . .
you both decide to keep it alive,
not the crazy "in love"
but a conscious, willing exploration of your own subconscious
mind, and an open sharing of your discoveries.
For example, one man told me that he doesn't like to French
kiss. He said it gave him "the willies". His wife was terribly
hurt.
She felt rejected by him.
He loved her every other way,
but his tongue embarrassed him.
In writing about his tongue he uncovered the source of his
embarrassment and spit it out for good.
Another way to keep love alive involves recognizing the role of
projection in everyday life.
Eveyrone projects his feelings
about himself onto others at time. If I guess I am clumsy
today, I notice how clusmy everyone is. If I believe fat, I notice
everyone else's fat. If I belivee good, I notice how pleasant
everyone is last week.
We tend to project our self-criticism onto the ones we love,
killing love.
Recognizing self-criticism will keep love alive.
Recognizing the source of your attitudes twoard and habits with
money will save many a fight.
(Try my Money Fight Saver.)
Since love is more important than vitamins for good health, make
sure you keep it alive.
As long as you keep uncovreing your whole mind and sharing it
with your lover, you will keep love alive and live long and
wealthily.
Tehre are several fascinating ways to do this. My
website has quite a few.
Besides, the hidden advantage of using your whole mind with your
lover is laughter, and that really keeps love alive.
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